GLOBAL DAY OF PARENTS: REVALUATING PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES IN NATION BUILDING

By: Bola Sobola

According to Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, parenting is defined as a process of raising and  training up a child  from birth to adulthood. This process is said to be  a huge and laborous task to achieve. Experts agreed that, it is one of responsibilities endowed on man by nature to have a worthy replicate to sustain legacies.
The theory of Parenting differs from culture to culture and nation to nation. For example, Africa concept of parenting is first based on collectivism. A belief to  training a child  through joint guidance of the people. More so, it is believed that  African  children should be exposed to a pinch of suffering as a platform of experience and reshaping them for a better tomorrow. But this is not so with parental training in developed countries where  children are highly pampered by both the government and their parents  with every needed comforts and  luxuries of life. 

Thank God for global day of parenting which is centred on revaluating core essence of parents and challenges  in training up  responsible  children received acceptance on December 9,1989, by the General Assembly by passing a resolution that proclaimed the year 1994 as the International Year of the family.

In another resolution in 1993, May 15 was decided on as the day for the observance of the International Day of the families every year.

On September 17,2012, the United Nations General Assembly declared the first-ever Global Day of parents,since then,it has been held annually on June 1 to honour    parental responsibilities as core factor in  socio- economic wellbeing of a nation.

Parenting can be tasking and effortful, the journey can be very stressful especially when the children are very young.

But it is a great joy for parents to behold their children growing to be responsible adult. Besides that parents should be commended for their sacrificial and  laborous years  towards raising a God fearing child, the huge financial  investment over these children cannot be quantified.It also  recognises the family as the natural place of  nurturing and bringing the dreams  of children to pass.

Experts believe that, it is only within the frame work  of family environment that a child can attain full development. The managers of this home, the first natural classroom are the mother and father, because 'Charity begins at Home' and if the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do; meaning that when home is faulty,it will affect the upbringing of a child and when the upbringing is twisted, it churns out morally backward children such as, hooligans,tout,armed robbers,

terrorists,prostitutes among others  for  the society.

An adage says that "omo ti a o ba ko lo ma gbe ile ti a ko ta" meaning that a child who is not properly trained will surely  jeopardise the family assets".

Parents play an important part in shaping the life of a child either positively or negatively. For example, some   parents are always fond of  supporting their children's heinous crimes.

A situation where some mothers   formed an 'Association of Yahoo Mothers in Nigeria is highly  degrading and unacceptable. How can a responsible mother, who went through untold years of motherhood  suffering agreed with and encourage her child to actively  involve in a cybercrime? popularly known as 'Yahoo Yahoo'.

The World is evolving and technology is growing fast, parents need to wake up from their slumber and  instill  discipline into their children because there is an adage that says 'to omo re ko le fun e ni 'sinmi -  meaning, train your child so that he can give you rest of mind.

The level of moral decadence we see in today's children is appalling and something needs to be done fast to arrest the situation.

For example, how can a well nurtured  girl from a responsible home, who has passed through painstaking parental training find pleasure in sleeping  with a dog and still bragging about it on social media, saying that she has not  killed a human being, after all she only slept with a dog and collected 1.7million for the job.  Sounds so weird for a girl to have come out openly irrespective of the level of her moral challenges.

And we begin to ask questions about the where about of her family?, where she comes from?,and what type of parents raised her?.

And another incident was

the case of three teenagers who beheaded a girl in   Oke- Aregba in Abeokuta, Ogun State for  money ritual, they claimed they learnt it on 'Facebook'. This  horrible incident only exposed the deep moral failure in African parenting. A cultural African parent is usually conscious about communal negativity that can disdain or tarnish  their family good names. Today, Africans have lost their native cultural values of parenting and there is need to revaluate the whole situation, and fish out the  genesis of African parental failure in 21st Century so as to build a productive generation that will focus on dignity of labour and moral principles of living. 

The point  is that,  not all parents  are  guilty of poor       parental  training of their children. Above all, parents need to intensify more efforts in training and nurturing their  children in a Godly way so that they can  be responsible citizens. 

Parents should instill discipline in their children,give them restrictions when it comes to some issues. When they have not gained admission into tertiary institution, they should not be left alone without thorough  monitoring particularly in handling social media. Parents should monitor their activities on internet and give them restrictions.

As a matter of fact,  they should  be held accountable for any of their  wrong doing by giving them punishment that is commensurate to their offence with love and not with aggression and hatred. Because there are cases of poor and unwise  parental training that provoked  the hearts of some  children towards committing  more vices and even with the temptation of  commiting suicide  by drinking insecticide known as 'Sniper' or inflicting injuries on their bodies among others just to punish their parents for being too high-handed in discipline. 

Parents should correct their children with love  and  create boundaries for them, they should know that overstepping  their boundaries will attract punishment.

Parents should not encourage their girl-child by wearing clothes that would reveal all their nakedness all in the name of fashion.They should monitor them to dress properly, because a Yoruba adage says -  ati kekere ni ati peka iroko,to ba dagba tan,apa o ni ka, meaning:  that,a child should be curbed at early stage, before it gets out of hand.

How can a responsible  boy be allowed to  pierce ear and plait his hair all in the name of fashion?, when he is not a worshipper of sango - the  god of thunder. When this is allowed in a family, there  is tendency that  a child  will become a cult member and this  may lead to his untimely death.

Individuals in the society must also play their parts in joining hands to correct any erring child in the society because a Yoruba adage points out that --  'oju kan lo bimo,sugbon igba oju lo wo', meaning though a child is from a particular parenthood but training is the collective responsibility of everyone in a society. Because it is not always one's birth parents who have an important piece of your life.Being a parent is more than just giving birth,it is about nurturing and having one's back in time of trouble.We need to re-awaken the need in carrying out our responsibilities as parents.So that we can experience peace in our old days and the children would also turn out to be better citizens in the country.

Campaigns and educational programmes should be widely hosted for parents and  . . encourage stability within nuclear families..   

Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) should also initiate     programmes that will educate parents on their roles,this will serve as a reminder as to what they have already known.  

Government  should appreciate parents by focusing more on family values and inherent blessing of  upbringing a  child to fulfilment destiny in life .Scholarships should be given to children from time to time in order to reduce financial burden on parents. A child who is well taken care of and provided for will in turn behave well and develop  the society.

Ogun State Government through the Ministry of Women Affairs has put in  place measures at ensuring peaceful co-existence among warring parents by settling family disputes and resolving parental crisis towards restoring hope of many children and giving useful advice to promote peace and tranquility in the family and  society at large. 

It should be noted that parents are after all,the first natural teachers and human first place of interaction a child must be exposed  to. But if the parents are morally and culturally corrupted, such a  child will have foundational challenge and it will affect the  country socio- economic development. As a matter of fact, there  is need for effective parenting as this is key at reducing crime and criminality for a prosperous nation.

Sobola writes from Ogun State Ministry of Information & Strategy via bolasobola065@gmail.com